Happy Halloweiners!

Hope everyone has fun dressin up & makin trouble this year. I'm looking forward to visiting with old friends, going to a big ol costume party & then hosting a Dia De Los Muertos bash. Trick or treat ya'll!

Lone Fir Pioneer Cemetery in the Autumn

Some pics I took on Saturday, strolling through the cemetery...

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year...

For thrift store shopping, that is! It's a certain kind of paradise for me to walk into a thrift store & find aisles chock full of discarded monsters, black cats, owls & other bizarre items that only seem to see the light of day in the month of Oct. I purchased both a ceramic AND rubber shark! And an animitronic blackula whose eyes light up green while he tells you "I vant to suck your blood!". That just rules. I've been absolutely covering my home with halloween decorations. I'll take some pics when I'm done & post em so ya'll can see the madness. My darling little cat, Loki, has proven that he is the ultimate halloween cat (he is black with yellow eyes, after all- EVIL!)- by pulling tricks on me at every opportunity. Knocking over pumpkins, pulling tacks out of the wall so decorations fall, chewing crepe paper banners into oblivion and making a permanent nest in a box half full of decorations yet to be unpacked. Sure- some of these high spirits could be due to his being kept indoors now that the weather is turning cold & wet- but I like to think he's getting into the halloween spirit in his own special diabolical way. Little rat bastard!!!

That looks a little like him- but it's not. He's far too wily to be caught by a some pumpkinhead.



Not a terribly effective rat trap, me thinks. But I love the idea of a hangman's noose on the crescent moon. Wacky kitty!



These 2 are just adorable. Though I do believe the cat has a bit more style than the owl. Perhaps the owl should consider a monocle? Cigarette holder?

Tricks and Treats

I simply love this time of year! I'll be posting some of my favorite pics & videos from the season...also, I've added some Monster Music to put you all in the mood!

Rocktober!!!

I frikkin LOVE Halloween- and the beginning of October marks the nearness of some of my favorite events of the year. Like the wonderful Greek Festival held at the Holy Trinity Church on NE Glisan every year. It starts on Fri & you can bet I'll be there stuffing my face full of olives, cheese, pastries, gyros, sausages & maybe some roasted lamb or chicken. Loukamades & strong sweet Greek coffee- here I come! I will also buy a raffle ticket in the hopes that one day I'll win that trip to Greece.
I also look forward to the annual Halloween party at Paul & Anina's- always the slickest and most interesting costumes in town. I've already begun work on this year's ensemble- should be a good one! Then there's always Wonder Woman Day at Excalibur Comics, too. Maybe I'll dress up & make an appearance this year. If I'm not too hungover...

While I deeply miss a true "fall" like I grew up with on the east coast (the lovely spectrum of colors in the leaves, the smell of fireplaces and leaf piles burning, sweet hot cider, the incessant whiff of cinnamon & pumpkin spice that seems to pervade everywhere)- I've learned to adapt to my NW climes this time of year. I'll be making stews, baking bread & snuggling down to read long neglected books in no time.

My New Tattoo

Gracias to Kiki Platas of Tinta Distinta, Tijuana, Mexico! It took five and half grueling hours under the needle- but it was worth it! Magnifico!

No Me Gusta!!! #1

It's my blog and I can bitch if I want to, bitch if I want to... You wanna know sumpin I DO NOT support? I do not like laser etched pictures of the deceased on their own tombstones. It really creeps me out. Who wants to see that shit!?! Especially when it's not even a good or nice picture of the corpse I'm standing on top of. I enjoy strolling around cemeteries. It's quiet, there's usually lovely flowers & landscaping & I really enjoy checkin out all the different gravestones for neat-o carvings, stonework & all the mysterious names & tributes to the long gone residents. It stimulates my imagination. But those creepy picture graves are always lookin at ya- givin ya the heeby jeebies. I want to see an artful likeness in stone- not a photograph!

Does this guy look happy!?!

Nope. And now he's dead and buried. And anyone who never knew him will see his grave & think- "wow, a really grumpy old russian guy is buried here & now he won't stop looking at me." Not my idea of a touching tribute. So if you really must insist on returning to the clay, literally- how about sparing the rest of us & avoiding one of these tasteless tombstones, huh?

Happy Mother's Day, Joy!!!

This is my mom, Joy Natalie Garner. Isn't she beautiful? My mom is the best mom in the world. And I know I'm not the only one who thinks so. And I also know that my sister & brother are not the only other ones who think it either. The Sierra Madre, as we like to call her sometimes, is just one of those people who brightens and improves the life of anyone who comes in contact with her. She is and has always been incredibly thoughtful, compassionate and kind. She has a fantastic sense of humor and loves all kinds of music deeply. Her wickedly clever wit make conversations with her a real treat (and she simply CANNOT be beat at Trivial Pursuit cause the woman is so damn smart!). Her open-mindedness and utter "coolness" have always made all my friends jealous that they weren't one of her babies, too. I'm one of the luckiest people I know because I have a Mom I have always respected, admired & loved.


Here's some examples of why:

• she weathered an unhappy marriage and divorce, struck out on her own and made a new life for herself (and for me & my sister). She worked her ass off to support us (my father was never much help to her in any way) & even managed to spoil us, most the time. I could never even conceive of making the sacrifices she did to keep us together & taken care of.


• she always made sure we got exactly what we wanted for our birthdays & xmas. She out-right spoiled us rotten for even the smallest holiday or event. It's sometimes uncanny how good she is at picking out the right gift for someone.


• her love of music and the arts has inspired and informed me my whole life. She loves everything from hip hop to opera. She loves oldies & current top 40 stuff to this day. I've burned her OutKast, Blackalicious, Nick Cave & Bonnie Prince Billy- all at her request! She's just too damn cool for school. And anyone who has seen Joy "crunkin"- knows she really truly has got the groove in her soul!


• she has an amazing green thumb! Everything she touches grows & blooms & prospers. I'm so thankful that I grew up watching her garden & grow as it inspires me to this day.


• she is an amazing artist in her own right. She'll deny it- but she is. Her drawings are simple but clever. She was a super cool puppeteer in the 70s. The puppets she made were the neatest ever! She's designed & sewn costumes that are easily nicer than what most costumes shops keep on hand. And her home is it's own masterpiece. I know she's in the process of re-inventing that work right now- and I can't wait to see the finished product!


• she has always been extremely generous. She practically raised some of my childhood friends as they were ALWAYS at my house- for every meal and adventure. To this day she opens her home & her heart to those closest to me. That's why my 3 closest friends all call themselves her "baby quadruplets". You may not hear from them today- but I know all yer baby quads are thinkin bout you, Mama Joy!


• she is a fantastic cook. If anyone has had my chicken almandine, salmon patties, home fried taters & onions or marinated pork loin- those are all recipes I grew up with & got from Joy. And anyone who has been to a party or gathering at her home knows what kind of spread the woman puts out. It's amazing! I directly attribute my love of cooking, eating good food & being the consummate hostess to my mom.


• she's one of the best friends I've ever had. I can tell her almost anything- and not worry about getting scolded or judged. Even tho I'm her baby, she has always treated me with respect and regard for my intelligence and independence. She has encouraged me to take chances and live my life- and I could never show the depth of my gratitude to this amazing woman.
  

I love you, Mom!!! I hope Lora & Taylor are spoiling you rotten today since I live so far away & can't be there to help. I'll make you an extra special meal next time I'm home- promise! Think of it as one of those coupons I used to make for you when I was a kid- "I.O.U. a special home cooked meal of your choice- with all the fixins and dessert".

Now- writing this has made me all homesick & weepy so I gotta go blow my nose...

Cinco de Drinko!

Happy Cinco de Mayo, mi amigos! I got started on my annual Cinco drinkin yesterday- since it was such a lovely day- the sort custom made for lounging about sipping margaritas and beer. It was basically the best Sunday I think I've had in years (it involved sleeping in, lots of kissing, bacon, margaritas, a picnic in the graveyard, grilling some super tasty jerk chicken- & every minute spent with my new honey, who is unbelievably rad). Tho now that I think about it- I started my Cinco drinkin on Sat afternoon at the bowling alley. I bowled a 171 and a134!!! Yay for booze! I then managed to maintain my buzz well into the evening for the Wanda Jackson show at Dante's (which was awesome!- more on that later). Needless to say- when you start drinking at 2pm & only eat a bowling alley cheeseburger all day- you wake up on the floor the next morning wondering how you got there. Still pretty mystified about that- why was I sleeping fully clothed at the foot of the bed when I could have been in the bed??? Hmmmm...I think my friend GIN has some splainin to do.

Had a funny little Cinco potluck at work today- so I am now overstuffed with chicken burritos. Muy bueno! I made some fabulous spicy mexican chocolate brownies for the shindig. I think they scared quite a few co-workers off tho. Their narrow worlds have not encountered both chocolate & peppers in the same dish, poor timid souls.

Tonight I plan to hit the liquor store for mas tequila- go home to grab my laptop & some rekkids- & then it's Beer & Damage time, kiddies. That's right- BEER & DAMAGE- from 8 to 10pm (PST) tonight on http://www.praradio.org/. I'm told that they are now streaming on Itunes, as well- but I'll hafta look that action up & add it later. We will be in the studio swilling tequila, smokin & spinnin some killer rawk, roll, blues, trash, punk action fer ya (that's DJ Chinatown spinnin up there). We're gonna do our best to throw together some latino rock in honor of the day, too. So break out the cerveza & tune in tonight!!!

Tick-tock, Tick-tock, Watchin the Clock

The sun is shining, it's warm out, it's a Friday, got less than 2 hours of work to go, listening to XTC, get to hang out with old friends later, gonna nosh some yummy fried chicken tonight & I think I'm falling in love. What a fantastic fucking day! I'd mostly forgotten how totally empowering & blissful it feels to be this happy. I like it. If I see Misery or Sorrow, I'm gonna kick their collective asses!!!

The pending weekend holds nothing but pleasant promise. More sunshine, more kisses, sleeping in late, some kick ass rock n roll, the first run of the year at grillin up some tasty jerked pork, time spent with friends, at least one good long walk in the gorgeous city I live in & a smile on my face the whole fucking time. In the immortal words of T Rex, Life's A Gas.

Ancient Jedi Secret

Happy 4-20 Everybody! May the force be with you! I personally plan to watch some Cheech & Chong, maybe Half Baked, too. Gonna nosh some primo snackins & hang with the crew. Then hit one of the many excellent rock shows available this fine evening. Slainte!

Feliz Cumpleaños, El Diablo!

Wishing my dear friend Dave the bestest of birthdays! Call him what you will- Brother Testface, El Diablo, Cardinal Damage, Mr. Snider, Davalicious- he is one of the raddest humans roaming this here ball of mud. My favorite tattoo artist, kick ass songwriter, musical maelstrom of creativity who plays with about- what is it now, Dave, 50 bands?- one of the best graphic designers evah, jet-setter, globe trotter, collector of curiosities, ARTIST in every possible sense of the word. He's like my brutha from anotha mutha. Love you, Davey. Hope yer bday is like, totally gnarly.

You Best Shake a Tailfeather...

and get yer hineys on down to Fire On the Mountain tonight!

Well- some of you may see this before it's too late- the rest of you will just be sad. Fire On The Mountain, the absolute BEST hot wing joint in Portland, is having one of their fabulous 25 cent wing nights tonight (both Burnside & Interstate locations). That's right! You can order 24 delicious cripsy savory wings for just $6. Or a hundred for $25. The catch? It's only from 5 til 10 tonight, Tuesday, April 15th. And it is dine-in only. And that place gets MOBBED, lemme tell ya. But- if you are patient & enjoy drinking beer while you anticipate the crispy hot goodness awaiting you- then head on over there & take advantage of the cheap-o goodies. In my experience- the best time to go is between 9 and 10 cause it clears out pretty quick. I know I'm gonna do my best to fit it into the evenings itinerary. Bawk-bagawk!

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself...

Ah...my first post on my very own blah-blah-blog. Spose I should issue some sort of "mission" statement- my list of excuses for this shining public beacon of vanity & self absorption (cause who am I that anyone would care what I have to say, right?). I'm doin this here blog to keep friends & family flung near & far up to date on my adventures & interests. I'll be posting the podcasts from my impending radio show here. I'll be maintaining my "events" calendar here so any lost souls looking for guidance on cool things to do in Portland, Oregon will have the boon of my impeccable taste to steer them aright. I'll post pics & reviews of the numerous excellent local rock n roll shows I make it out & about to. I collect an enormous amount of fairly useless toys n comics n such- & here I shall expand & expound on my obsessions with gusto. There will also be some tales of booze, broads & bad behavior (I didn't earn the nickname "Lucifer" from pickin daisies & chasin rainbows, y'know!). I promise that names will be changed to protect the innocent. So you see- it shall be a whole lotta nothin- but in the coolest & sincerest possible way.

I would like to say "Cuadragésimo Cumpleaños Feliz!" to my sister & Lester. And a standard "Cumpleaños Feliz!" to my musical-partner-in-crime, Hot Stix, & to my buddy Landon, out in Key West. Big ups to my Aries brethren! I would also like to dedicate this first post to my old friend, Hans Pandora. The name of my blog is a quote from one of my all time favorite movies, Caddyshack (uttered my the incomparable Ted Knight). But it was Hans who imprinted this phrase forever in my psyche with his frequent, often menacing, and always impassioned delivery of it- typically accompanied by some sort of insane mischief. I haven't seen Hans since 1994- but in my mind's eye, he is screaming "you'll get NOTHING and LIKE IT!!!" and then slamming a door in my face. Ah...the old days of hangin with the "Irish Mafia" in Lincoln Park...I kinda miss Chicago now and then. But it ain't got nuthin on my new home town. Portland rules!

Well, it should only get more interesting from here. I'd also like to thank & worship the amazing Junko Mizuno, whose art I snagged for my page.
See ya'll soon...